


Victimus

by darkangel_silvermoon



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst and Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 17:38:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11537142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkangel_silvermoon/pseuds/darkangel_silvermoon
Summary: The victims are safe.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Reid pulls his sweater closer to his body; rain lashes against the windows in his apartment.

Sergio sits on the window sill, meowing at the thin fingers of lightning raking themselves against the swelling underbelly of the gun metal clouds and bruised sky.

He's forgetting how to breathe--that thick mercury heat filling his lungs again and again.

It's hard.

He jumps slightly at the particularly loud crack of thunder that peals through the air-launching Sergio under the couch.

Reid feels numb.

The wetness of his cheeks shock him as trembling fingertips draw back damp; the unsub almost killed him today.

His fist clench beside him at the memory, his throat squeezing impossibly tight.

He's forgetting how to breathe.

The unsub's cold fingers curled around the slim column of his neck-grip cinching his windpipe, bruising his Adam's apple as the unsub sits on Reid's chest.

Morgan's cuffed to a post. 

Tantalus-just out of reach of Reid.

Morgan kicks and thrashes, flaming mad as he tries, tries so hard to reach – threatening and swearing.

Reid's never heard Morgan sob so hard, tortured sounds spilling from his mouth as he begs to be taken instead. The keens echoing in his scattered mind as his body stills.

He's slipping...

He's forgetting how to breathe.

Morgan couldn't meet his eye at the hospital, guilt and sorrow stiff masks as the air hangs heavy between them as Reid's necklace of bruises stand in high relief against his pale skin.

But they were saved.

The victim was safe.

The victims were safe.

Safe as they'll ever be.

Reid and Morgan are victims again.


	2. Chapter 2

Morgan shivers as the rain beats a nervous tattoo on the roof- white noise crashing above him as lightning strikes out and thunder quakes in fury.

Morgan squeezes his eyes shut trying to will his heart to finally give him some peace. A break for once.

Reid's probably won't sleep tonight-but Reid won't call either.

Morgan wants to take Reid and hold him-take him by the hand, tell him that everything's going to be okay. Because if one thing is true, Morgan and Reid have been victims before.

And they've pulled through every time. So, why should this be any different?

But he can't take the image of a gasping, straining Reid from behind his eyes. He couldn't...he wasn't there when Reid needed him most.

Clooney snuffs, laying his heavy square head against Morgan's lap. Morgan absentmindedly began to stroke Clooney's short fur.

That's what frustrates Morgan the most- he's never there when Reid needs him.

He thinks of those brown eyes fluttering shut as he gasps a final time and his body gives out. And how Morgan himself made the most tortured sounds.

He thinks of the ribbon of bruise as Reid tries to talk in the sterile room at the hospital and Morgan walked away because he's weak, he couldn't handle it.

Morgan doesn't want to play hero. He just wants to keep Reid safe. And it seems like that's the one thing he'll never be able to do.

Clooney whines as Morgan's hand stills, clenching into the couch cushion instead. He wills his head to be filled with the righteous anger of the howling wind instead of his own guilt- inky black like sin.

Morgan sighs- he can forget about getting any rest tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

Reid holds his coffee mug, knuckles tight against the blue porcelain.

His breath come out in ragged pants as he tries to calm himself.

The little things add up.

Blood rages through his ears as his body buckles against the torrent of thought.

It's been three years, seven months, four days since he last touched Dillaudid.

It's been five months, two weeks, six days since Prentiss took her last breath.

It's been twenty minutes since he's resigned to the fact that he- Spencer Reid, loves Derek Morgan.

His throat's still sore from the attack- it hurt to talk,to laugh,to swallow...and at this very moment, he wants to scream for all he's worth, his brain kicking against him.

He loves Derek Morgan, but Derek Morgan will never love him.

Reid steadies himself, pouring the steaming coffee down the drain, readying himself for work.

/

Morgan sighs as he looks down at his I.D. Caller.

He knows he dare not ignore the call if he valued his life.

"Can I make it to my desk first?" Morgan's shoulders slump as Garcia snorts.

"Morgan, you may be avoiding Boy Wonder, but you can't evade me forever. Get your sorry butt up here this instant."

"Where's that playful Baby Girl I know and love?" Morgan tease, forcing a smile in his voice.

"None of that from you sweet cheeks, I need a word with you now." Garcia doesn't relent.

Morgan gives a half-hearted chuckle as he makes his way up to her office.

As he makes it to her open door, he spots Reid milling into the empty bull pen; a forlorn look at the stack of paperwork accumulated on his desk. Morgan's heart pounds.

He shakes his head from the thoughts cramming into the tight space and heads into her office.

"Shut the door please?" Garcia asks. Morgan really does not want to be here. Why didn't he run when he had the chance?

Morgan leans against her computer desk as she eyes him.

They both are silent as Morgan stares at his shoes, willing her not to see through him.

"You really care about him,huh?" Morgan's shocked to hear how subdued the tech analyst is being. It unsettles him.

"I'm not g-"

  
"I'm not trying to attack you, Derek. Just observation."Garcia leans back in her swirly chair, looking up at the picture mounted in a beach themed frame.

It's the one they took a  couple weeks before this case, Hotch holding Jack with his barely-there smile, J.J., Henry and Will-tightly wrapped in arms and laughter, and Morgan hugging Reid tight, -as if he were afraid to let him go.

The other of Morgan and Reid at the movie theater- Morgan's hand nestled on Reid's hip, head, resting in the crook of Reid's neck-and Reid in the most comical pose ever...it was a joke, right?

But Garcia knew. She always knew.

"Der, it doesn't matter if you're gay,straight, bi- whatever. You're still the sexy Fed who can whip out his gun. It' s just, right now, you're hurting yourself-"  
"But-"

"No, Morgan. You're hurting him too. He doesn't know what he's done wrong, and I'm pretty sure he needs you as much as you need him." Garcia says, looking steady into Morgan's eyes. Morgan's stomach burns at the thought of him hurting Reid; he doesn't want to be on that list.

"Garcia, I can't do this." Morgan sinks to the floor, burying his face in his hands.

Garcia frowns slightly as she looks up to see a wide-eyed Reid standing in the doorway.

Morgan looks up at the silence, his body tenses at the sight of Reid.

The little things add up.


	4. Chapter 4

Morgan grits his teeth as he stares up at Reid.

He catches sight of the sickly black and blue ring of bruise that is not quite covered by his collar.

"Reid!" Garcia lets out a happy noise; Morgan and Reid never break eye contact.

Garcia frowns slightly.

"You want to be alone?" She asks and Reid nods.

Morgan makes a squeak in protest, but both Garcia and Reid shoot him down with a look.

Not that he had a choice to begin with.

Garcia gets off her chair and stoops to kiss Morgan on the head.

"You'll be fine." She whispers, and he gives her a small smile and a hug.

She walks out, ruffling Reid's hair on the way.

Morgan sighs as he drags his gaze back to Reid.

"A-are you cleared for work?" Morgan's voice is shaky at best.

Reid quirks a brow, a small smile on his face. He pulls out a pen and pad from his satchel.

 _I'm a doctor_.

Morgan snorts a bit, pulling himself off the floor.

"Pretty Boy are you okay?" Morgan's voice is soft as he tucks his hands under his arms.

Reid stares at Morgan for a second, that smile collapsing as he scribbles.

_You...you're avoiding me._

Morgan's brow furrows deep.

"It's not like that, kid. It's just...I-" Morgan shuts his eyes, taking a stuttering breathe. "I wasn't there when it really counted."

Morgan's shoulders slump as he tries to control the anger bubbling up to the surface Reid jerks in surprise.

Reid throws a bewildered look Morgan's way.

"I'm supposed to protect you, and I didn't." Morgan's voice is broken.

Reid scribbles- _It's not you responsibility to protect me._

Morgan whips his head up from the note.

"It's my fault." Morgan chokes out. "I could have stopped him-" Morgan's words are bitter, hard.

Reid puts the pen down, sliding his arms around Morgan.  He rests his chin in the hollow of Morgan's neck.

He closes his eyes as Morgan slides his hand to the small of Reid's back.

Reid makes a small noise and Morgan pulls back.

Reid looks up and frowns hard, reaching to place Morgan's hands back where they were.

"Reid?" Morgan questions as Reid settles again.

Reid sighs, grabbing the notebook behind Morgan and writes furiously.

 _It doesn't matter. Just knowing you were there kept me alive. You don't have to protect me, but it's nice to know that someone's there for me, always. Even if they don't feel like just being there is enough- it is. Thank you_.

Reid studies Morgan's face as he reads the note.

Morgan holds back the conflicting emotions threatening to spill over.

On one hand he wants to tear himself apart with guilt.

Another, he wants to cup Reid's face, nuzzle the soft skin between his ear and jaw.

"I'm just happy you're safe kid." Morgan's voice rasps.

 _I'm happy you're here_. Reid retorts, as he bites his bottom lip in contemplation.

"What's wrong." Morgan asks, eyes steadily searching Reid's.

Reid shakes his head; tears pin-pricking his eyes.

 _I almost lost you._ His scrawl is shaky as his hands tremor.

"Is it selfish for me to say the same thing?" Morgan whispers.

He shakes his head ruefully.

"Kid, do you know that you're third on my speed dial, my Mom's first, Garcia second, then you."

 _Really_? Reid's eyes seemed to say. Morgan nods.

"I-I couldn't see a world without you Reid."Morgan places his hand on Reid's face, stroking his thumb along Reid's jaw.

Reid closes his eyes, blissfully aware of Morgan's presence as he hovers between indecision.

Morgan kisses Reid on the cheek, feather touch, and a warm smile spreads on Reid's lips.

Reid looks up to see Morgan smiling as well.

"Reid, I-" Reid places a hand up to pause Morgan.

Morgan holds his breath as Reid writes.

He takes the paper from Reid's hand.

_Do you like me,like me? Check yes or no._

Morgan chuckles, taking the pen from Reid's hand.

He slips the paper back to Reid, who makes a happy noise.

_Yes._

_Pretty Boy, will you be my boyfriend? Check yes or no._

Reid nods, kissing Morgan sweetly on the cheek.

He slips his fingers through Morgan's, reveling in the feeling of warm skin against skin.

 "So, I have a boyfriend then?" Morgan holds his breathe as Reid eyes laugh.

Reid bumps Morgan in the shoulder, silly grin contagious.

He takes the pen and checks yes.

_I could go for some jell-o. You?_

Morgan laughs as Reid pulls him out Garcia's room, off to scare up some     jell-o


End file.
